Delicious Magazine’s Rhubarb & Amaretti Cake with Orange and Rosemary Glaze

Two things. I have no truck with recipes and menu items which list every bloody single ingredient in the headline, as Delicious Magazine does with today’s post. Chrissake, ‘Rhubarb & Amaretti Cake’ would do, and the orange and rosemary hoo-haa will come as a nice surprise. It happens on shows like Masterchef too;  some poor idiot presents ‘Lamb Chops Grilled Over Coal with Locally Sourced Wild Garlic Pesto, Half-Decent Carrots Glazed With Honey, Some Random Mini-Herbs and A Sauce Made of Hope and Desperation. Oh, And Salt And Pepper’. Menus that bang on about ‘Hand-Gathered Heart of Veal With Tear-Infused Milk Sauce And New Potatoes Harvested by Artisan Pickers, Devastated Smear of Something Red Seasoned with Cuticles and Diner’s Regret’.

No. I will not have it.

Second thing is I hate Amaretti. I can’t bear the almondy-ness of it, and I can trace this directly back to a trip I took to Dresden and surrounds back in 2001, spent with a German friend and her family, and where the drink of choice for her (and thus for me) was Amaretto and apple juice. All weekend. Non-stop. Literally one meal all weekend, but litres of alcoholic almonds. Cannot bear the stuff now and the stench of Amaretti biscuits just takes me back to the weekend of sugary booze and constant hunger.

Despite all the above I made the cake anyway and it was good. Even I, legendary Amaretti hater, managed to down a good slab of it. It’s quite a nice thing to eat whilst rhubarb is in season though I will call Delicious Magazine out on headlining the rhubarb content as it is essentially just decorative rather than offering anything that might reasonably be called ‘rhubarb cake’.

I sound grumpy, huh. I shouldn’t be. I’m just back from the pool and so I smell deliciously of chlorine. It’s over 20C and there are only three mobs of builders working concurrently on three separate houses in my immediate vicinity. It’s practically silent around here with just the sound of one pneumatic drill and three jackhammers on the go.

Right.

Gather:

225g unsalted butter, softened

200g golden caster sugar

1 teaspoon good vanilla extract (I used vanilla paste)

4 medium eggs, beaten

Grated zest of 2 oranges

200g ground almonds

50g plain flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

8 Amaretti, broken into chunks (I used soft Amaretti – they were fine)

1-2 sticks of rhubarb, trimmed, cut into 6cm pieces, then halved lengthways to give you 12-16 lengths or so WHATEVER DOESN’T MATTER DO WHAT YOU LIKE I DON’T CARE

Granulated sugar, to sprinkle

For the glaze:

Juice of 1 orange

1 fresh rosemary sprig

20g granulated sugar

Squeeze of lemon juice (I didn’t use)

Preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan and grease a 23cm loose-bottomed tart or cake tin, lining the base with baking paper.

Rhu0

Put the butter and sugar in your mixer and beat until it’s light and fluffy. If it’s not going light and fluffy just add the vanilla early on and it’ll help push things along.

Rhu1

Add the eggs one by one, the recipe says, which is fucking annoying as they also want them beaten. I just chucked the whole eggs in and whazzed the mixer up to warp speed. Was fine, Looked like sick, as demonstrated below, and as all good cakes should at some point in their journey towards death by teeth and stomach acids. Just make sure you beat well between eggy additions, get them incorporated nicely and don’t leave any swirls of yolk or white floating in the mix.

Rhu2

Then take the bowl from the mixer stand and gently incorporate your flour, orange zest, ground almonds and baking powder.Rhu3Then add the Amaretti chunks. Should look a bit like the below.Rhu4The recipe then says ‘pour the mix into the cake or tart tin’. If you can get a mixture that looks like the above to pour then great for you but I had to fuss and push and cajole the bastarding stuff into my tart tin. And I had enough left over for a whole other cake.

Anyway once it’s in, however you managed it, level the top and gently push in the rhubarb pieces in some kind of pattern. Leave about two-thirds uncovered as they should sink a bit when in the oven.

Chuck the whole thing into the oven for 35-40 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.Rhu5Whilst it’s in the oven make the syrup by chucking all ingredients into a little saucepan, bringing to a simmer and bubble it quite rapidly for 4-5 mins till it thickens a bit.  Rhu6Let the cake cool, once out of the oven. Rhu7Drizzle over the syrup. Might take a few goes to do this as nothing’s boiling hot and thus at peak permeability. Just be patient, yo.Rhu8Below is NewHuman demonstrating his best effort at the ‘hide’ part of Hide and Seek. I’m hoping for excellent sporting skills as general academic cleverness is looking increasingly out of reach.Rhu10And below you’ll find the idiot dog who this morning managed to open up her front leg in the most dangerous way yet incurred a miniscule actual skin-slice of approximately 7.5mm in length. Looks like nothing, is something quite serious. And expensive. And she’s mad at me for the cone of shame but she has no self control when it comes to licking said pricey wound so bugger her, she’s staying coned up till I say so.Rhu11

Below is cake. Almondy. Served with vanilla cream. Eat. Enjoy.

Rhu9

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5 thoughts on “Delicious Magazine’s Rhubarb & Amaretti Cake with Orange and Rosemary Glaze

  1. narf7 says:

    If anything, Earl is even more “inflamed” by that cone of shame. He remains, ever, The Dog’s most ardent admirer. New Human is lulling you into a false sense of box placement. You have him pegged? Best of luck with that. I was told by my hyperactive son’s kindy teacher that he might not be able to attend grade one as he just couldn’t sit still long enough to listen to anything she said. Turns out she was just boring and he was fine when he actually had something to do. Said son is now a 34 year old accountant and “hyperactive” is NOT something that could ever be listed as one of his prime characteristics. New Human is slowly categorising everything. He is watching the lay of the land. He is watching how you react to what he does, how much he can push your buttons and how hard he can push them before you go off. One day he is going to be able to play you like The Moonlight Sonata. Don’t say I didn’t warn you mum. Hugs to the dog and that cake thingo doesn’t look half bad.

    • b-kom says:

      NewHuman has landed very well on two solid feet and we will make sure he keeps it that way, as far as he wants to! He’s pretty hilarious most days….

      Dog returns Earl’s affections on the condition he rescues her from her suffering.

      • narf7 says:

        You are ON. As you may, or may not know, our locale is infested with “flood”. Not just any old flooding, but “worse than the 1920’s GREAT flood of auld Launceston town”. Most of the city is blocked off and there is a fucktonne of water EVERYWHERE. We can’t get into the city (so no classes for us today YAY!) and the son and accountant is also stranded high and dry (hopefully) but Earl sees this as a way to get to his paramour via some of the floating logs that he can see from the deck. He says to tell her “I should be there by Christmas”. Count on it. He is a most determined dog…

      • b-kom says:

        I have seen the high waters and wondered how you were doing – stay safe! Tell Earl to hurry, the current levels of pathetic are very wearing on us all.

      • narf7 says:

        He says he will send one of Far arse’s (Bezial, his “brother”) squeaky toys to keep her amused till he gets there. He is practicing log rolling for the long haul on the furniture…

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