Bill Granger’s Brownies

We’ve had better weeks, to be honest. NewHuman has an infection and is subject to regular attempts by me to push foul, fluorescent-yellow ‘banana’ (banana my ass. It’s no more banana than Trump’s preferred shade of hair dye) flavoured antibiotics into him. He was sent home from nursery today looking very sorry for himself so has been packed off to bed. Again. Spends a lot of time there at the moment. He wants to perk up soon, we are due to leave for Oz in just over a week and I will NOT countenance any delay to our departure.

Worse, oh worse, has been the dog, who had an odd lump biopsied and which came back as BAD TERRIBLY BAD LUMP from the lab, so was (relatively) rushed into surgery yesterday and had it removed. She’s achieving impressive levels of sooky la-la and is enjoying her soft-food diet and painkilling drugs. I can’t stop cuddling her.

Anyway, bring on the holiday and sunshine.

Also, bring on the non-diet period of time during which I’ll eat whatever the hell I want. Speaking of, I had a weekend off Hell Diet and lunch guests coming both Saturday and Sunday. As usual I left it rather late to decide what to cook when, last minute, a friend (hiya Riri!) posted a recipe on Twitter advocating World’s Best Brownies. I was determined to test the theory.

They’re bloody amazing. Seriously. Obviously cause they’re Bill Granger and, thus, Australian. My parochialism gets noticeably worse the closer to a trip home I get.

Either way, make these. Literal piece of piss to bake and crazy delicious. I should say I had a go at cooking these on the convection setting of the microwave (the oven being otherwise occupied by a disconcertingly large porchetta). They came out great despite that, so imagine the glory if you did them properly. Go on.


Right. Preheat your oven to 160C.


350g caster sugar (I used 300g)

80g cocoa powder (I used 50g cocoa and 40g drinking cocoa cause I ran out of proper cocoa)

60g plain flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

200g butter, melted (unsalted, preferably. I used salted)

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 eggs, lightly beaten

200g dark chocolate, roughly chopped

Grease and line a square tin, about 22cm square or so.Combine the flour, cocoa, sugar and baking powder. Give them a whisk together.

Melt the butter

Chop the chocolate

Lightly beat the eggs and vanilla
Mix the eggs and vanilla into the dry ingredients, then mix through the butter.Then stir through the chocolate.
Cry a little bit for the dog, the NewHuman and that new, unexplained bump on your face that must basically be an age-wart.Pour into your greased and lined tin and chuck it in the oven for 40-45 mins. This seems a long time to me, but then again the oven temp is fairly low and even with the mental microwaving I involved myself in it never dried out. Meh, what do I know.
Take the done thing out of the oven and let cool in the tin before slicing.Dog now looks like a Kray twin. Suppose it’s not a bad look for a dog who needs to live a successful life on the hard streets of London.

Anyway below is a brownie, covered in double cream (half fat, of course, I’m not entirely stupid, only mostly stupid). Rapturous. Riri was right.

3 thoughts on “Bill Granger’s Brownies

  1. narf77 says:

    The imperitive word here is “brownie”. I don’t think any word preceding it can elicit the degree of excitement that this humble word brings. Poor New Human and POOR DOG! 😦 I think you are currently experiencing the shit storm that should ensure that you hit Australia running and have an entirely splendiferous holiday to remember for at least 3 months. Those brownies, with a hot mug of tea, in your secret “DO NOT DISTURB UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES” place. I think you just nailed Nirvana. Please give Dog a gently smootch from me. Earl sends commiserations and promises to pee twice on everything just for her. He would like to be assured that his extra output is noted and passed on to the correct recipient so that it will be duly appreciated OK?

    • b-kom says:

      I hope you make these – so worth it. And there’s a lick and a bum sniff for E from the dog. Oooer!

      • narf77 says:

        Earl has to go and have a lay down now. He went out walking where the Exeter show had just been and was swooning and drooling with delight at all of the fresh smells. That’s the last straw 😉

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