Rich Chocolate Cheesecake

Life’s hard, internet people.  I mean this because we’re on the last day of several beautiful, warm and happy weather-days, which coincided with the weekend and all of London’s smiling face, and thus when the rain and clouds return tomorrow we will be reminded of how shit things actually are here in terms of ridiculous costs of living.  Whilst the sun shines we can forget all about being sensible and budgety, and fling cash at meats for the BBQ, beers for the faces and all the fun stuff.  As soon as the grey returns I remember that I’m unemployed and basically poor and that I have not the means to go to the hairdresser and get her to fix the field of grey that insists of poking out all along my part instead of hibernating in some other, unseen dark place on my skull.  Asshole hair.

Still, it’s sunny today and I’ve already once waged war on the BASTARDING TREE that lives several gardens over and along, which constantly rains down leaves onto my deck. I anticipate at least 3-4 sweeps a day to keep it vaguely clear.  I learnt last night that the tree is called Robinia Pseudoacacia or suchlike. Either way, it’s not pseudo-dropping leaves. It does that very realisitically.  Asshole tree.

NewHuman sleeps upstairs, unaware of our rapid descent into poverty, poor chook. It’ll be homemade rice for him from now on, none of that fancy sticky rice he loves so much from the sushi place up the road.

*wipes brow*

Had the in-laws over (lovely, they are lovely, and I say that because (i) they definitely are and I’m very lucky, and (ii) my mother told my mother-in-law of the existence of this blog and I am a bit embarrassed) a couple of weeks ago and fed them this cake. Bloody bloody delicious they are.

20140519-094243-34963298.jpgI don’t have the requisite picture of the ingredients for you, so instead you have, above, a swiftly-taken picture of NewHuman making a break for it. I think, in fact, he was hotfooting it upstairs, entirely encouraged by me, to go wake his father up from a lie-in.  HA.

This is an Australian Women’s Weekly recipe.


250g chocolate ripple biscuits (if you’re Aussie you can get these.  In the UK I just used choc chip Hobnobs)

100g butter, room temperature

500g cream cheese, room temperature

300g caster sugar

375g dark chocolate

2 eggs

cocoa powder for dusting, if you can be arsed. I couldn’t.


Preheat your oven to 180C (or 160C for fan ovens) and lightly grease the base and sides of a springform tin of around 20cm diameter.  Think mine was 22cm.  Or 18cm. Can’t remember.

Whazz up the biscuits and butter in a food processor and go for it, till combined, then press the mixture quite firmly, like that maths teacher you loved to hate but actually loved, into the tin and around two-thirds of the way up the sides of the pan.

Don’t be afraid to get a little firm, really.

Chuck it in the freezer.


In a bowl, or your mixer if you have one (mixer will be easier, true) combine the cream cheese and the sugar, beating it well for about 2 minutes and making sure you do all the scrapey scrapey stuff along the sides.

Melt the chocolate – I did the microwave method of slowly and carefully (HA I CHUCK IT IN A BOWL AND LOOK AT IT AFTER A MINUTE) – until just melted, no more.  The original recipe says to stir some of the cream cheese mixture into the chocolate and then pour the chocolate into the cream cheese mixture. Nah. I just quite slowly poured the melted chocolate into the cream cheese mixture as the mixer was on low. Was fine.

Add your eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Eggs blatantly deserve it.


Get your base out of the freezer and carefully pour the mixture into the tin.  Stick it on a baking tray and into the oven for 35 minutes.  Seriously, definitely go the baking tray. No matter if your trust in your springform tin is deeper than the Mormons’ belief in the evils of caffeine, still put it on a baking tray.

After 35 minutes turn off the oven and just leave the cheesecake in there to cool, with the oven door ajar.



Refrigerate for 6 hours or overnight, whichever is easier.


A month ago I was in Boston, at a baseball game. Today I’m in West London and instead of a baseball game will be taking NewHuman to the pool for a swim where I will spend most of my time reminding him that he can’t breathe underwater. I’ve seen no sign of gills and I’ve had him nearly a year now, so am quite confident I’m right on this one.

Anyway, if you want you can dust the top of the cake with cocoa powder. I just took it out of the fridge an hour or so before serving, and served great chunks of it with some hard-earned raspberry coolis.  The cake is not as sweet as I had anticipated, which is great, so with the sharp raspberry it’s a winner.

If you could try to have your raspberry coolis look less like a pool of blood on the plate then that’d be nice for your guests.

This was popular, I think I’ll have to make it again.





3 thoughts on “Rich Chocolate Cheesecake

  1. narf77 says:

    I just watched Bill Grainger’s latest effort in how to smarm his way into Portobello road and stay there (aging comb-over fat smarmy expat Antipodean that he is!) after almost barfing into my shoe from having to listen to him put down Bondi over…and over…and OVER again I stopped listening to him (and watching that comb over…) and started looking at everything in the background. London is a lovely city. I remember falling in love with it when we visited…we wandered around looking up at the amazing architecture (monkeys climbing all over the natural history museum anyone?!) and all of us standing still looking up and causing Londonites to stop and look up suspiciously (you never know when something might be careening it’s way down a building and you might have to run…). Even though it was winter when we visited it was beautiful. I guess we had Australia to return to and we were making the most of the gorgeous cold weather…got back to 45C heat in Perth, went to the Casino at 2am after barreling off the plane in shellshock and our first meal back was bbq (see I DID get to the point! 😉 ). Nothing like a good Aussie bbq 🙂

    LOVE those stairs and the tenacity of New Human amazes me (it’s been a while since I had my kids…funny how you forget 😉 ). By the way…embrace that grey, call it “hombre” and if someone looks at you askew yell “HOMBRE YOU ARSEHOLE!” at them

    Stop showing off…you KNOW that anything hobnob is superior to a chocolate ripple bickie (and here they cost the best part of 2 arms and quarter of a leg and are only to be inhaled when we are on our uppers…) If you can still afford cream cheese, you are not poor ;). The cake looks the bomb. Even if it pours down outside, at least you have cake!

    • b-kom says:

      I’m a bit ashamed to admit I’ve been living in the UK so long now I don’t remember what a chocolate ripple bikkie is….!

      • narf77 says:

        I have been living in Australia for my whole life (half a century to be precise) and I have NEVER eaten a chocolate ripple bikkie! Not even sure where to go about finding one to be honest but who would bother when one has a plethora of Tim-tams to choose from? 😉 I would go with my mums old favourite cheesecake bickie, the granita. If she needed a chockie bikkie base it was a packet of granita’s and some cocoa… done…and dusted! 🙂

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