So, I’ve a new toy. It’s in pistachio green and cost a ridiculous amount of money, so me and the boyfriend’s probationary status as wankers has now come to fruition and we are, indeed, Wankers with a capital W. Either way, it’s a pretty thing and I’ve had it at home a week, nearly, and not yet tried it.
I believe most people get them in a nice bright red or shiny black. That’s probably for a very good reason. Nevertheless, pistachio green it is. Tones in nicely with our bathroom, arguably, which is a shame as they will never be introduced.
I’ve a terrible habit of buying bananas and then not eating them in time. I can only eat bananas when they’ve just, very just, tipped over the edge into ripeness. Any hint of odour and I can’t bear them, except in cooking. It’s the reason the boyfriend’s office is plagued with banana breads issued from my kitchen. I’ve had some black-toned bananas sitting about for days now and couldn’t face making my millionth banana bread (it’s such a milestone, a million, and I’ve not the energy for a party) so looked about for an alternative.
The below would do. The banana makes them nice and moist, really, almost like they’re undercooked. They’re not, of course. And poor Nigella, going through her tough times, I think she’d be happy to know her recipe was the final resting place for a few bananas otherwise bound for the bin.
I’m typing this as the boyfriend walks NewHuman and the dog around the neighbourhood, and I am accompanied by the soundtrack of our new neighbours’ child. A Massive Whinger, would be the official description. They are a noisy bunch. I’m afraid I’ve rather taken against them. They shall not receive a single crumb of muffin. It’d been quiet the last couple of days so I’d hoped they were away on holidays. I was wrong.
I’m also typing this half-pissed, AGAIN, after another pub lunch with friends.
Being half-pissed is heaps good.
Preheat your oven to 200C or Gas Mark 6.
3 very ripe bananas
125ml vegetable oil. I used canola, which isn’t strictly vegetable, but it was fine. Tasteless, basically, is what you’re after.
2 large eggs
250g plain flour
100g caster sugar
1/2 teaspoon bicarb soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
150g butterscotch chips (which I have been desperate to get rid of) but anything else would do – white chocolate or dark, even blueberries would be nice
I’ll just alert you now to the fact I doubled the amounts so be not alarmed at the vast quantities displayed in the following photos.
Mash your bananas. They’ll look like sick.
Put your oil and eggs in a thing and lightly whisk. The eggs will float, menacingly, in the oil like sentient orbs.
Whisk together your flour, bicarb, baking powder and sugar, then add the oily eggy mix. Blend.
Then add your chips and banana.
Mix nicely. It’s a rather wet mix for muffins, but NIgella knows best.
Distribute in muffin cases, even quantities, and into the oven for about 20 mins or until done. I over-filled, a bit.
This is the dog, stoned, after a heinous operation to remove her dew claws, cause of much ripping and pain. Anyway, the Cone of Shame is part of her life for another week yet. She is displeased.
In other news, Fat Elvis lives.
Anyway, remove said muffins from the oven and let cool a little.
Eat. Enjoy. They’re not OTT banana-y, it kind of more makes the mix very moist and delivers a hint of banana-ness. Sweet, obv.