Giant Choc Chip & Hazelnut Cookies

These are cookies, no doubt about it. Nothing biscuity, delicate or refined about them. They are big bastard things.

Delicious, to the point of heart attack, and guaranteed disappointment-face when the boyfriend asks if there are any left and you have to tell him you gave the last one away.

The recipe is from the all recipes.co.uk website, and previous guest-poster E has also used them as a successful base recipe. She does lovely things like include peanut caramel fudge. I’m not fancy like her, so I’ve gone plainer. Relatively.

Right.

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Gather together a lot of really unhealthy stuff, in the following amounts:

250g plain flour
Half teaspoon bicarb soda
170g melted butter (recipe says unsalted, but then asks you add salt. Insanity. Just use salted butter)
200g dark brown sugar (I used light brown)
100g caster sugar (to be honest you could drop these sugar amounts by a quarter each, I reckon, if you dare)
Big slosh vanilla extract
1 egg
1 extra egg yolk
Recipe says 325g choc chips – I used 200g mixed milk and dark choc chips, and 100g chopped hazelnuts

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Preheat your oven to 170C and line some baking trays with baking paper. Might take a couple of rounds of baking to get through the mix.

Sift (or whisk) together the flour and bicarb in a bowl.

In another bowl blend the sugars and the butter, then add the vanilla and egg and egg yolks and beat till it goes light and creamy. It’s pretty obvious when that is.

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Cut in the dry ingredients, adding to the wet mix. Actually, that is what the recipe says to do. I added the wet mix to the dry. HOLY SHIT.

Things worked out fine. Do it whichever hell way you fancy the most.

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Then mix in the choc chips, nuts, etc. It’s a sticky annoyance of a mix.

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The recipe also says to then drop 4 tablespoons of mix onto the baking trays for each cookie. More insanity, unless tablespoon means something entirely different here in the UK to Australia. I dropped a heaped, single tablespoon onto the tray. Was fine. Was plenty, actually.

They spread heaps, so leave room, do, between them. Don’t flatten the dough. Leave them in big, dodgy lumps.

Stick them in the oven for about 15 mins or so, till the edges start to lightly toast.

The dog turns 3 tomorrow. She has no idea, she is a bit thick still. She thinks the delicious canned tuna she had for supper tonight was just cause she’s cute. Nope.

Right. Cookies. Pics of the final product after the jump. I should let you know you are in for a week or two of guest posts from valued contributors. I just need to duck off for a day or three and produce a NewHuman I’ve been (very) averagely baking, but will be back asap with tales of incredible bravery and swift emptying of bottles of booze, packets of stinky cheese, and half a kilo of nigiri. All things I’ve been prevented from enjoying for way too long now…. And of dealing with a jealous pup. Poor pup. She has no idea.

Till then, enjoy the cookies. Size of your face, they are. Excessive. Brilliant.

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5 thoughts on “Giant Choc Chip & Hazelnut Cookies

  1. narf77 says:

    OMG You are “up the duff”? I had NO IDEA! Holy Crap sister you need more than a bottle of vodka…You might need a crate! You certainly hid that well…(hopefully not from the boyfriend) and the dog will be fine. “She” will adore your tiny screaming bundle of red angry faced annoyance from the moment she gets her first sniff. Dog is 3 eh? Earl is 3 this year. Earl wouldn’t look sideways at delicious tuna though. He is a steak man through and through. I don’t expect to see you back for at least a year by the way. I won’t throw you into RSS Feed Reader oblivion but will merely toss you into the purgatory section where blogs wait to either die a slow death or sit and wait for their illustrious authors return. I hope it’s the latter. You write bloody good girl, a pity to lose that from a blogosphere that is cram packed with shit. I hope you have the easiest time of your birth, the quickest recovery and you end up with an amazing quiet, sweet, gorgeous, smiling baby but I secretly fear that you will just end up with one like the rest of us had ;). Kudos for this wonderful blog, for keeping schtum (haven’t seen an ending like that since goodness only knows!) and for just being you. Look after yourself…don’t give vodka to the baby no matter how desperate it gets and remember your mum…if she could raise you and survive, she can share a few hints and tips. Hugs and “catch ya later” from Australia ๐Ÿ™‚

    • b-kom says:

      Big secret-keeper, me…anyway I’ve a few posts archived and up my sleeve so shouldn’t be long before we are back to semi-normal transmission. Cheers for the lovely good wishes….!

      • narf77 says:

        You have a whole year of posts up your sleeve?! And I thought “I” was prepared ;). Give yourself time to get into this amazing thing that is about to happen to you that whether you know it or not is going to turn your whole life upside down. You are such a great blogger we will wait for you but you have to give yourself all the time you need to get back here and that is “if” you get back here…we will understand. Life has an amazing way of getting you to tango with it even when you can’t dance ;). Good luck is a stupid sentiment. Bon Chance is more guttural. As my daughters would say ‘Take Luck…take it and do with it what you will” …sounds cool but they stole it from some crazy cartoon they were watching at the time. You are in for a wonderful and terrifying rollercoaster ride girl, get your seatbelt on and hang on tight! See you on the flip side ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Nessa says:

    Hope everything goes well for you. Thanks for the lovely recipes I have tried loads of them now. Come back soon. X

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