Suffering & Woe

Evening.

I’m afraid I’ve not made anything remotely delicious or bad for you for days.  Weeks, actually, now.  Nor have I eaten anything really delicious or bad for you.  You’d be right to assume I’m a cranky old cow with a desperate need for about a litre of cold white wine and approximately 2-3 large loaves of bread.

In lieu of having anything interesting to show you on the kitchen/baking front I’ve been reduced to taking photos of the food I’ve been eating.  I know it’s really quite ungrateful to moan about having to diet, on the basis that I only need to diet because I’ve been greedy and have access to a surfeit of food in a world where that isn’t the case for everyone.  I’m still moaning though, so add ungrateful to the aforementioned cranky.

Right – ahoy with the salad.

Below is a version of the super-salad I previously blogged.  I ate these for about 5 days running, then stopped and haven’t been able to face them since. The one you see here before you today is riddled with wild pink salmon.  Riddled.

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For our next example, as seen below, I tried to trick myself into thinking that a mixture of finely sliced salami, veg and some feta wasn’t a salad by (i) including salami, (ii) eating it from a bowl, and (iii) eating it with a spoon.

It didn’t work.  I can be incredibly thick sometimes.

*shoots a warning look at the boyfriend who might be tempted to say something very unwise upon reading that last sentence*

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And lo, before you is my nemesis, the stationary bike.  I’ve been going to the gym every day and this is MY BIKE.  I went night before last (as yesterday was a swimming day, I like variety) and some sweaty bugger was on it.  I was irate.  Didn’t do anything, obviously.

Anyway I am in a seemingly perpetual war with this thing to get to 5km in 10 mins.  I’m so close, it’s like a big slice of bread and Vegemite (or Promite, I do love Promite) I just can’t reach.

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Yesterday I was Out in the Wide World at lunch time and so had this.  It’s Vietnamese summer rolls (that stuff it’s rolled in probably = carbs. Shit) and some stir-fried morning glory which is on my top 5 list of things I love most in the world.  Of course the soy sauce the morning glory is drenched in results in amazing amounts of salt-bloat but for about 30 mins I was not only convinced I felt full, I believe I actually was full.

Those were good minutes.

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Then yesterday I cracked and roasted a chicken.  I bought a nice free-range organic chicken, shoved some lemon, garlic and a massive amount of tarragon up its handily located orifice and roasted it.  Then I ate a lot of it without any accompaniment.  It was good.  I’m having some more of it tonight.  With zucchini, cause I’m all multi-world when it comes to vegetables and we’re off to Italy in 3 weeks and I’m practicing my accent.  Courgette is just meh.  Zucchini – it has some bite.

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Finally, to top off the crapness, I’ve commissioned some 1:1 maths tutoring before I head, probably unwisely, back into the world of tertiary education to commence an MSc.  I can’t do maths, I’m all dyscalculia’d right up, didn’t do it in high school, didn’t do it at uni.  Don’t do it now if I can help it.  I’m notoriously bad at anything other than the early times-tables.  Below is some maths homework.  I have HOMEWORK.  I, currently, have a list of about 10 maths exercises to complete before the next time my lovely Greek tutor comes again.  I try and try to divert him during our precious hour together, asking inappropriate questions about his partner and discussing holiday destinations but the man is very focused.

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One thought on “Suffering & Woe

  1. narf77 says:

    I sympathise with your diet persona and can’t even LOOK at those equations! What is it with maths anyway? I want to be a Landscape Architect NOT a mathemetician! Surely I can just skip that algebra and who the heck needs to learn the difference (let alone what they all are in the first place) between cos, tan and sin? That’s for people with pasty skin who are afraid of the light! Not me! I can stride with purpose into someones garden and lay them low with my amazing ability to landscape…(I can get someone else to make that pergola, measure those plants and use AutoCAD can’t I?…sigh…back to the text books…).

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