Am not sure how much cooking I’m going to get done this weekend so am gifting you with a guide to making cupcakes that you don’t/won’t want yourself. Somehow (I know exactly how, actually) I agreed to make cupcakes for the local primary school’s summer fair, which is tomorrow. I have no children. I have no connection with the school. I know some kids with posh names who go to that school. The neighbour’s kids. Good screamers, all.
ANYWAY this is a recipe that actually makes quite tasty cupcakes when it comes to the cake bit and leaves you free to do other stuff with a straightforward approach to icing. None of that ridiculous 1 part cupcake-24 parts icing crap in my house, oh no.
The recipe makes about 12 or so, so double if you want more. I did.
110g butter, room temperature
110g caster sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
vanilla (the good extract, don’t be cheap)
110g self raising flour
bit of extra milk
This is how I get the butter to room temperature. So obvious.
Beat the sugar and butter together till is goes a bit pale.
Add the beaten eggs in stages, and beat well, then add the vanilla too.
It’ll look a bit like sick. That’s good. You can add egg-flour-egg-flour if you want to avoid it looking like sick but it really doesn’t matter in this case.
Add the flour and mix through with a metal spoon. Add a couple of tablespoons of milk to get it to what your grandmother would call ‘dropping’ texture – see above. I caught the mix in the act of actually dropping. It’s kind of like hummus in gloopiness, a slightly soft hummus.
Eat a large spoonful of it. God it’s good. Eat another one. And, if you don’t feel sick yet, another.
These pictures are out of sequence but it’s such an arse to chang them around I’m not going to.
Let the dogs lick the bowl clean. Yes, dogs. We’ve another foster. He’s still a puppy and I am becoming dangerously fond of him.
Drop small spoonfuls into patty cases you’ve placed in a muffin tin. DO NOT OVERFILL. You don’t actually want a lot of cake, you want the cooked product to finish below the line of the patty case.
I failed in this mission today, mostly, so be careful.
In a moderate oven, about Gas Mark 4 (as usual preheat blah blah blah) for maybe 10 mins. They take no time at all.
In a bowl put a nice mountain of icing sugar and drip in cold water, whisking through as you go. Don’t let it go too runny. It’s icing, not a waterfall.
Cause these are for kids and specially for kids I don’t know and won’t have charge of I’ve added some colouring. RED. The best.
Take your cakes out of the oven. As you might be able to see in the above picture, I’ve used a wooden tray to push down some rogue high-risers on the second tray.
Let them cool, man.
Drizzle over the icing when they’re cool and whilst it’s wet plop on whatever decoration you found at the supermarket. These are called polka dots. I’d have called them confetti, but whatever.
Knock on your neighbour’s door to handover. They won’t be home so go back inside, eat an uniced cake and watch the tennis a bit. It’s going to be downpours tomorrow anyway, maybe the fair will get cancelled. Decide you won’t offer to man a stall, as was suggested. Definitely NO.
Below are the dogs, racing fast. They’re really good at it.