Lazy Person’s Pasta


I’m sure you’re all watching the football.  I’ve just had a tutorial from the boyfriend about the myriad competitions that soccer is involved in here in the UK and in Europe.  It seems unnecessarily complicated.  In Australia we have Aussie Rules Football, we have the Premiership, and that’s the only national competition going.  We like to keep things linear in Oz.

Anyway the below is easy pasta which is guaranteed delicious and which is for making if you’re either feeling chilled out or are intrinsically a lazy arsed human being.  I cooked it whilst the boyfriend was having a bath, and he came down to a ready supper and the soccer on telly.  I am winning major points on the girlfriend front tonight.  I haven’t yet decided what I’ll cash them in for.  Probably money.

This should take 30 mins MAX from getting  your stuff together to stuffing your face.  Any longer and you’re being a bit special.


My lazy person’s pasta always involves pasta (any shape you like, but I prefer spaghetti for this one), pancetta, mushies, garlic, red chilli, onion and olive oil.  Seasoning is important, as is some parmesan.


You’ll want only two pans so not much energy needs expending here.  One big saucepan for the pasta and one frypan for the bits.

Put salted water on to boil in the big saucepan and throw in your pasta to cook when it’s boiling.

On a high-ish heat put the pancetta in the frypan and cook till it goes golden.  While it’s cooking chop your onion and finely slice the garlic and chilli.  When the pancetta’s golden lower the heat a bit and gently cook off the onion, garlic and chilli.  Slosh in some more olive oil at this point.  You want it looking greasy, cause once it’s on the pasta the grease will dissipate and you won’t realise the vast volumes of oil you’re shovelling into your face.  You’ll just think it’s well lubricated and delicious.


While the other stuff is cooking, peel (if you’re that way inclined, I usually am) your mushrooms.  I hate prissy mushies that taste of nothing but hardish bland, so at the very minimum I hit up some chestnut ones.  Peel, and finely slice.  Helpfully I’ve demonstrated the three basic stages above.  I’ve gone to extra effort tonight because I have the time.  I’m not that interested in the soccer.

When the onion and stuff has cooked down and starts to look like you fancy scooping great spoonfuls of it into your mouth, stir through the mushrooms and continue to cook.  Season.


Keep cooking till it looks something like the above.  At this stage I stirred through about 2/3 teaspoon of quite posh and syrupy balsamic vinegar but you don’t have to.  Heathens.


Test the readiness of the pasta on the dog.  I had hopes of the dog becoming one of those famous internet dogs upon which you can balance everything from thumbtacks to small children but alas she will not comply.  It’s very disappointing.

By this stage your pasta will be ready.  Drain it but don’t get all evangelical about making sure EVERY BLOODY DROP OF WATER has been drained off. It doesn’t matter and a little water is a good thing.

Throw the drained pasta back into the saucepan and tip in the contents of the frying pan.  Stir through well with a generous handful of grated parmesan.

Serve.  Serve with alcohol if you have any left.



2 thoughts on “Lazy Person’s Pasta

  1. Paula says:

    I am making this for Tom tonight, a post – walkabout pre-Monday morning treat. He is well excited. Thankyou ms B x

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