Sausages & Mash

Afternoon.  Or, I suppose, Evening.  I’m confused by these long evenings, and especially so today with the miraculous appearance of the sun.

I’ve not had time to do more than tear a few good looking recipes from various magazines this weekend, so instead you’re gifted with a pictorial record of what I cooked for supper just now.  So just now that the contents of this blog are still oven-hot and resting quietly in my belly.


Get some sausages, some potatoes, an onion and yes, some gravy granules.  It’s allowed.  You’ll also want some seasoning, butter and milk.


Above are two examples of potato peelers.  The blue one was brought to London at vast expense from Australia.  It’s my preferred peeler type.  The one on the left was bought at vast expense at a kitchenware shop in Chiswick. It works fine but it makes me feel a bit cack-handed when I use it, so the cheapy blue one wins nearly every time.  Every time except when I have to peel butternut squash.  That bitch of a vegetable needs a hardcore blade.


Peel and slice (not too small unless you’re into watery mash) your potatoes.  Put in some salted, boiling water.  Cook.

It’s very complex this dish.

Put your sausages on to cook AT THE SAME TIME.

Can you handle it?


Whilst you contemplate whether you can indeed handle it, take a look at the interesting sign I found on a door in the next street, just the other day.  Then go slice the onion.


After your sausages have cooked and your potatoes have boiled, put your sausages on a plate and into the oven on a v low heat, to keep them warm.  Cook your onions in the pan the sausages cooked in.

Add a big knob (fnar) of butter and a good splosh of milk in the potatoes, as well as some generous seasoning.  Mash.  Mash and mash and mash.  Obv you’ll never get all the lumps out if you haven’t used a ricer.  I haven’t used a ricer cause (i) I don’t have one and (ii) I don’t think I would ever use a ricer unless I was cooking for, I don’t know, Lady Di or someone. Someone likely to choke on the infinitely small lumps left.


Turn on the heat under your mashed potatoes.  Keep it low, get a spatula and stir and press, stir and press – do this for as long as you can handle.  Ten minutes would be good.  This makes your mash nice and fluffy.  I promise.

Do it.

Add about a cup of hot water to your onions, and when it’s bubbling add a sprinkle of gravy granules.  Revel in the feeling of using such a low-grade ingredient.  Goes nicely with your posh sausages, actually.


Serve.  Looks good, eh?  It was good.

Here is the dog enjoying a pizza crust.  She’s so easily pleased.



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