As previously mentioned my uncle calls eggs ‘bumnuts’. I like it.
Also previously mentioned is the whole health-January idea. It sucks. Anyway I had a really short time to do something fast that also didn’t cost money (ie: something bready and wonderful from a sandwich shop) as for some reason me and the boyfriend are, along with Health, compounding our misery by keeping a record of spend. So far we’re being really parsimonious but I reckon we both only have about a week in us till we crack. The below was lunch, and now I’m off to the far reaches of West London.
3 eggs. Not that Health, so I should’ve probably done 1 egg and 3 whites but bugger that for a joke. I’ve eschewed butter and milk and that’s hardship enough. Go generously on the seasoning. Chop up some parsley, if you like parsley. I do.
Any veg in an omelette is good, today I’ve finely sliced some asparagus and chestnut mushrooms. Mostly cause I just sharpened the peeling knife and it’s fun to use. I wanted to put in lots of delicious parma ham that’s sitting, forlornly, in the fridge but I Did Not. I Am Being Good.*
Lightly cook off the veg till they are crispy but warm. Unless you love soggy veg, in which case cook the bloody hell out of them.
Pour in your whisked eggs, then whisk again. See how fast I’m whisking with that fork? I’m barely visible to the naked eye. Do this for a bit.
Till it looks a bit like this. Like sick.
Using a spatula, I prefer the plastic one, start lifting it around the edges and moving the pan about to let the uncooked bits hit the hot edges where they will, I promise, cook. Keep doing it for a bit.
Eventually it’ll be about 85% cooked and you will be able to flip it like this, into halves. Do that, squeeze it down a bit with the spatula, flip over from side to side if you like your eggs cooked. Which I do. If you like your eggs raw don’t bother with any of this and just eat the salmonella as it comes.
Stick on a plate. That green stuff is the parsley I forgot to add in while the stuff was still cooking.
Eat with the utensil of your choice, remain unsatisfied, and leave the house as fast as you can cause it stinks like egg.