We all eat breakfast. Well, we should. No one ever tells you how to make it.

I generally find it quite hard to eat when I get up, preferring to leave it an hour or so. Apparently that approach is quite bad for you. I also generally try to have something really dull like one Weetbix (or Weetabix if you’re here in England) with some honey and skimmed milk however (i) my personal trainer is on holiday and I’m not getting seen or seen to for another 2 weeks, (ii) there is bread in the house, and (iii) I have managed to coerce the boyfriend into coming with me to the gym tonight so that means today I shall eat EVERYTHING I can see. It’s entertaining having him there me at the gym, as I make him do all the horrific exercises my personal trainer makes me do. I am stronger, obviously. It’s like She-Ra and He-Man, but in reverse.

Anyway get yourself together some breakfast ingredients. Today we’re having toast and coffee.

This is a knife and this is a teaspoon. They are key utensils in the preparation of a satisfying breakfast.

Choose some bread. You’ll note I am not taking slices from the front of the loaf. This is cause I am my mother’s daughter. Never take the front slices. Always take the nicer, softer onces from a few slices in. It will drive the people you live with mad but you don’t care and will never not do this.

Put the nice, soft bread into the toaster which looks all pretty and red but is actually a torture chamber for wheat-based goods. They are bad, they must be punished.

This is a coffee capsule for the machine we own. Yours might look different, or it might be grainy bits of brown from a tin. Whatever and however your get your coffee (or tea, if tea is your thing), get it. This is the dark green one. It’s probably about my 3rd favourite. I like the purple and the light gold better. Just so you know.

Put the capsule in the machine and press the button. I wish I had some audio for you of the noise that is made when the coffee is being invaded by high-pressure boiling water. It’s kind of , ‘grrrrraaaaarrrrrrghhhhhowwwwwwwwbrrrrrrgggggggg’. Good coffee at the end, though. At this stage I add some Splenda I’ve inevitably stolen from the Broadwick St Pret a Manger. Go for sugar if that’s your thing. Never go for the aspartame-based fake sugars, very bad for you.

Add the milk of your choice. I go for skimmed 0.1% fat as I don’t really like the taste of milk a lot and I like it quite watery. Any kind of milk will do.

Stick the mug of coffee and milk into your fancy microwave. Your microwave will be the polar opposite of your oven. It’s new, clean and wonderful. As always, remind yourself to remove all the stuff that lives on top of the microwave to another place, as it’s there in direct contravention of the microwave codes of practice. As always, do nothing about it. Bout 1 min 40 seconds for a mug of this size, on high.

Toast will be ready now. This is my preferred level of brown-ness. Yours may differ. At this point if you, like my Gran, like your toast colder than the frozen graves of Russia, leave the toast alone for about 30 minutes. If, like me, you like it a bit warm, sorta toasty warm even, then give it 10 seconds or so, then butter.

Buttered kind of warm toast.

This is Promite. It is food of the gods. Get some.

I am not having Promite today, though. Because we have jam in the house, and because I am going to the gym later, I am going to have jam. Jam that toast right up.

Breakfast. Hot coffee, warm toast, jam. Eat then realise you’re quite late and need to get a move on otherwise you’ll not be at the office in time for that absolutely amazing 3 hour IT workshop scheduled for today.


6 thoughts on “Breakfast

  1. Tomorrow, 25 pictures and 1500 words on how to pour a glass of water.

    • Rachel says:

      Mark, I’d read that with interest, thinking to myself “how interesting, Bree likes/doesn’t like the same glass/water temperature/time of day to drink water as I do! Isn’t she witty and observant?! I love that photo of her straw, etc…

  2. fourstar says:

    We have one of ‘those’ coffee machines.

    It’s the bomb.

    (Dark Brown and occasionally Red for decaf)

  3. Rachel says:

    Mark, I would read that blog post with interest and think to myself “How funny that Bree likes/doesn’t like the same glass/water temperature/time of day to drink water as I do, and she is so witty/observant in describing it. I love the photo of her crazy straw, etc…”

  4. Rachel says:

    Yeah, I think first time I wrote the comment, it definitely flowed better! 😉

  5. rhonda says:

    The Granchildren are here for a sleepover so def will try the toast at breakfast ..but will give the coffee a miss..they are already full of energy!! lol…Rhonda

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